Introduce yourself to the table of doom. Say hello. Tell it your name and your favorite hobbies, perhaps your favorite moment from Friends or Lost. It won’t care! IT IS THE TABLE OF DOOM!
It lives only to topple your drinks and your dreams! After it has done that, it will mock you by not allowing you to be a lazy bum and lean on it during really awesome performances by guys dressed up like a marching band.
*Note: My privileges of picking sitting locations at bars/ shows/ restaurants/ my own home have been revoked until further notice by Natalie.
**Notex2: This post is from last weekend. As mentioned before, I am a lazy bum.
***Notex3: Hopefully I will never tag something ‘Table of Doom’ ever again.